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Writer's pictureRowena Spinks

My life philosophies

A red rose on a rosebush

Everyone in this world has values that guide their decisions. I am no different.


Pragmatism over ideology - It's all very well to ascribe to a set of beliefs or goals but if you can't achieve them, ultimately they aren't much good. Ultimately, finding a practical solution to a problem is more important than sticking to a school of thought. This mentality is why I often avoid labeling my political leanings - ultimately I think it's more important to find ethical, humane and sustainable solutions to issues. Good ideas can come from all areas of the political spectrum. 


Sustainability in all things - This is so important not just from a climate change perspective but for any enterprise. If a business or project does not operate in a sustainable way - from a resource, financial or human resources point of view - it will not last. You get the best out of people and the world when you aim for something able to self-perpetuate. Also, running things in a way that fails to take care of people or the planet is unethical and just a bad way to go about things in general.


We are all intrinsically interconnected - Every man for himself, as an ideology, is incredibly short-sighted. As a global society, our fates as people are linked together. Supply chains, commerce, the service industry, knowledge, everything important to the world is implicitly a group effort. This is why creating an equitable world where we take care of one another is so important. 


Always be aware of group think - Even though we are all individuals with our own ideas and thoughts, everyone is prone to following the crowd. It's basic human nature to look to our peers for confirmation and 'social proof' but the majority aren't always right. Having sat in lectures about cognitive biases and logical fallacies, I learnt how vitally important it is to do your own research and reach your own conclusions. 


The truth defies simplicity - This is a quote from John Green (who runs Vlogbrothers with his brother Hank). It's always stuck with me because it's true. During my psychology degree, I learnt just how varied humans are and about the limits of scientific research. While there is an objective truth, keeping in mind that people's perspectives on events and situations will vary is so important. For me, keeping an open mind and thinking in shades of grey is vital to embracing life. 


Humans are good, most of the time

Psychological research has shown that empathy and compassion are naturally occurring human traits - most of the time. In general, as humans we tend to want to help one another as long as it doesn't conflict badly with our own interests. That isn't always true - unfortunately - but it can help to remember there are so many good people out there. As Mr. Rogers used to say, "Look for the helpers"


Embrace all walks of life - You will never know or truly grasp what another person has been through. Consequently, you have no right to judge. As long as the person isn't hurting anyone, they deserve to live their life in peace and to find joy. This is one of those hard, clear-cut rules for me. It grew from my past as a very strict Christian who judged everyone who wasn't - to the detriment of lgbtq+ and individuals with other beliefs. I fundamentally believe we are stronger for our differences and variety is the spice of life. That's not to say Christians can't love others fully, just that I couldn't find a way to make my own faith at the time fit with my values. 


LISTEN - People are fascinating. Everyone has a story to tell and it is uniquely theirs. Back in my old life as a communications consultant, I used to adore getting insight into industries, roles and vocations I knew nothing of. I try to remember that I always have more to learn from others and that listening is as important as talking. Stay humble and allow others to teach you what they know - you have a right not to agree but don't be a dick about it. 


Boundaries are good - Some people are upset by the concept that others say 'no' or express preferences. I am the opposite. Boundaries are so important - they tell others what you need for a positive, mutually beneficial relationship. It's always a balance, of course, but having lived around both extremes of no boundaries and hard walls, they never stop being important. 


I give the benefit of doubt - Some people don't give second chances. I'm not one of those people. Humans are complex, often illogical creatures. We're all flawed and sometimes we behave in ways we don't understand. Relationships should have a balance of compassion and boundaries. Sometimes, people give off bad first impressions or make mistakes - as long as they make amends, I'm willing to give them a chance. 


Disrespect, unkindness and passive aggressiveness are a firm no - I'm a kind and empathetic person but I do have to keep myself in check in this respect. Sadly, those who don't care about others do exist and some will go out of their way to interfere with your life. Life is too short to live with that kind of energy, if you can help it. I give second chances but they are hard-won and only for those who earn them. 

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